The Simpsons — Season 13

All 22 episodes in airing order, with first-run dates and viewer ratings.

1. 01

   November 6, 2001 · 30m

   Treehouse of Horror XII8.4

   "Treehouse of Horror XII" includes Pierce Brosnan as the voice of a computerized house that falls for Marge; a Gypsy's curse bringing bad luck to Homer's loved ones; and Bart and Lisa as competing wizards, with Bart enlisting help from a dark source.

2. 02

   November 11, 2001 · 30m

   The Parent Rap8.2

   Bart is tethered to Homer as punishment for stealing a police cruiser. Blackboard 'Nobody reads these anymore!'.

3. 03

   November 18, 2001 · 30m

   Homer the Moe8.4

   Moe gets more depressed than usual and renovates his tavern. He then kicks the old gang out and Homer opens a bar in his garage so the gang can have a place to hang out and fit in.

4. 04

   December 2, 2001 · 30m

   Hunka Hunka Burns in Love8.2

   Homer is hired to write fortunes for fortune cookies, one of them changes Mr. Burn's life. Homer helps Mr. Burns with his dating. Blackboard: 'Fun does not have a size'.

5. 05

   December 9, 2001 · 30m

   The Blunder Years8.9

   Marge becomes obsessed with a brand of paper towels and Homer pulls a gag on her. To make up for it, Homer takes her out, gets hypnotized and regresses to a childhood fear and starts screaming and does not stop until the source of the fear is drawn out of him. Blackboard 'I am not Charlie Brown on acid'.

6. 06

   December 16, 2001 · 30m

   She of Little Faith8.0

   In this Christmas episode, Richard Gere offers Buddhist teachings to Lisa after she leaves her church because of Mr. Burns' tacky fund-raising efforts, which include commercials (during sermons) and podium-placed ads. Blackboard: 'I do not have a cereal named after me'.

7. 07

   January 6, 2002 · 30m

   Brawl in the Family8.2

   Grampa comes to Homer's rescue after Ned and His Vegas wives show up at the house.

8. 08

   January 20, 2002 · 30m

   Sweets and Sour Marge8.2

   Ben Stiller plays a sugar company's CEO who draws Marge's ire after Springfield is declared the "World's Fattest Town."

9. 09

   January 27, 2002 · 30m

   Jaws Wired Shut7.8

   When Homer accidentally breaks his jaw, he has to have it wired shut and can not talk. He learns to become the good listener that Marge has wanted.

10. 10

    February 10, 2002 · 30m

    Half-Decent Proposal8.1

    Now fabulously wealthy, Marge's grabby prom date Artie Ziff offers a million dollars for a weekend with her that, he says, will have "no funny stuff." The Simpsons agree when they realize the money will help their marriage---by paying for an operation that will cure Homer's snoring.

11. 11

    February 17, 2002 · 30m

    The Bart Wants What It Wants7.9

    Bart ends up becoming close friends with Greta Wolfecastle after a fun fair and he has a blind eye to her feelings about him. Blackboard: 'The giving tree is not a chump'.

12. 12

    February 24, 2002 · 30m

    The Lastest Gun in the West8.2

    Bart and Lisa try to help an old cowboy actor, who yearns to reclaim his past fame by getting him booked on the Krusty the Clown show.

13. 13

    March 10, 2002 · 30m

    The Old Man and the Key8.0

    Grampa Simpson regains his driver's license to woo a new woman but is goaded into a race by senior punks.

14. 14

    March 17, 2002 · 30m

    Tales from the Public Domain8.6

    Homer discovers a library book he checked out when Bart was born and Lisa suggests that he read aloud from it. Blackboard: 'Vampire is not a career choice'.

15. 15

    March 31, 2002 · 30m

    Blame It on Lisa8.1

    Homer refuses to pay a really high phone bill then their service is shut off. The family travels to Rio De Janeiro to see Lisa's sponsored orphan.

16. 16

    April 7, 2002 · 30m

    Weekend at Burnsies7.9

    Homer uses medicinal marijuana to relieve pain from eye injuries he suffered when attacked by crows.

17. 17

    April 21, 2002 · 30m

    Gump Roast7.1

    The Springfield Friars Club roasts Homer, with emcee Krusty the Clown introducing friends, family and their memories from past episodes.

18. 18

    April 28, 2002 · 30m

    I Am Furious Yellow8.6

    Encouraged by comic-book guru Stan Lee (in a cameo), Bart creates a strip about Homer that gets onto the Internet.

19. 19

    May 5, 2002 · 30m

    The Sweetest Apu8.6

    Homer accidentally walks in on Apu when he is cheating on his wife at the Kwiki Mart.

20. 20

    May 12, 2002 · 30m

    Little Girl in the Big Ten8.4

    Lisa becomes friends with college girls who are unaware of her age. Bart is bitten by a Chinese mosquito and must live in a bubble. Bart and Lisa also share a special moment.

21. 21

    May 19, 2002 · 30m

    Frying Game8.6

    Homer's community service for threatening an endangered species involves helping a kindly senior, who meets an untimely death.

22. 22

    May 22, 2002 · 30m

    Papa's Got a Brand New Badge8.7

    Homer starts a security company that ultimately replaces the cops---and runs afoul of mobster Fat Tony