The worst episodes of Suburgatory
Ranked by viewer rating, lows first. Lit marks on the season rail place this list across the run. Vote on a placement to back it or contest it.
- 01
When Dallas sees George at the dog park, she recruits Dalia to negotiate her territory in Chatswin, while Tessa has to represent George's interests. Tessa notices that Lisa is spending a lot of time with Ryan's girlfriend, June, and Fred is worried that Sheila is distancing herself.
- 02
When Noah is released from a court mandated anger management program, George is shocked to find a docile Noah has replaced his former hot-headed friend. Shaken by the change, George decides to put the new Noah to the test. Meanwhile, Tessa ditches "senior tanning" and meets a cool new age band hanging out at the park. The free spirited music group isn't exactly what they appear.
- 03
When Dallas's mother passes away, she recruits Tessa to take a trip to the South with her to attend the funeral. During the trip, Dallas confronts her rivalry with her sister and her feelings toward her mother. Meanwhile, George, Noah and Fred go on a grouper that results in a stalker for Fred.
- 04
When George becomes enamored with Chatswin's latest hotspot... a juice bar, Tessa reminds him of their pact to not get sucked into Chatswin culture. This inspires George and Fred to take a trip to New York, which doesn't turn out the way George had planned. Meanwhile, Tessa is pressured into attending Evan's birthday party and reveals what she really thinks of him.
- 05
When Tessa drags Malik and Lisa to a college party, she meets a male version of herself and becomes enamored. They see eye-to-eye on everything and it's almost the perfect relationship. Meanwhile, Dallas enlists a matchmaker to set her and Dalia up, but the matchmaker convinces Dallas to date herself and she decides to get back to basics with a new look.
- 06
When Tessa takes a young social outcast under her wing, she decides to mentor her protégée for the Miss Chatswin pageant to make a statement to Chatswin society. The pageant rivalry between Tessa and Dalia comes to a head and Tessa finds herself stooping to Dalia's level to win. Meanwhile, George, Noah, Fred and Victor go on a boy's weekend camping trip where Fred accidently loses Victor in the wilderness.
- 07
When George forgets the birthday gift that Dallas gives him, Dallas feels as if she'll never compare to his ex, Alex, and she seeks solace in carbs and Jill Werner. Meanwhile, Tessa believes that she has lost her youthful vigor, and Noah makes a shocking discovery about his psychiatrist, Bob.
- 08
Tessa becomes concerned when George lets himself go after his break-up with Dallas and she calls on George's dad to help him move on. His father's advice and blatant attempts rub George the wrong way. Meanwhile, Tessa discovers that Ryan is coming home to visit and that he's bringing home his new girlfriend.
- 09
When Dalia decides that her dad's fiancée is her new best friend, the KKK are lost without their leader and turn to Tessa and Lisa. As Dalia struggles with her emotions over her dad's elopement, she turns to Evan for support, and it's up to Tessa to help her regain her confidence and friends. Meanwhile, George and Dallas get intimate, but it's not really what George envisions.
- 10
When Tessa becomes a relationship expert, she gives advice to everyone. She decides to help Mr. Wolfe, and this leads to a sad realization about his relationship with Chef Alan. Meanwhile Noah and Dallas are still at odds, and George helps Dallas coach a T-Ball team.
- 11
When Lisa decides to propose to Malik, Tessa isn't sure how to support her friend and turns to George for advice. After Lisa's proposal doesn't go as planned, Tessa steps up and is inspired to fight for Ryan. Meanwhile, George believes his girlfriend Nora might be rude to her employees.
- 12
When Tessa takes over planning Lisa and Malik's wedding, she struggles with the limited budget and loses sight of the romance. Meanwhile, June confronts Tessa and warns her to stay away from Ryan, Malik's family decides to boycott the wedding and he enlists George's help to walk him down the aisle, and Sheila offers Lisa some pearls of wisdom.
- 13
When Dallas gives George a Chatswin makeover, he decides he likes his new look and begins to feel at home in the suburbs. But as soon as some of George's friends from New York visit, they start poking fun at his girlfriend and new life. In an effort to get back at them, George and Dallas make a pitch for the Scarsdale Performing Arts Center job that his friends are after. Meanwhile, Malik leaves Lisa for two days, so she decides to spend every minute with Tessa. Part of their girl bonding time involves them eating some smoked fish, which leaves Tessa in the hospital with food poisoning.
- 14
When Marty passes away, George is deeply affected and Noah and George have to figure out what to do with his ashes. Meanwhile, Tessa learns that Ryan hasn't been honest with her, and she has to examine the future of their relationship, as well as her plans for college.
- 15
When Dalia fails to get into the only college she applied to, Dallas is on a mission to help her find her calling, however, Dalia takes it upon herself to find a sugar daddy. Meanwhile, George forces Tessa to double date with him and a hot mom and her son that they met during her college tour.
- 16
When Tessa joins a knitting circle, George is a little surprised by the age gap between Tessa and her new friends. Still reeling from his one-night stand, George decides to put pen to paper and writes a song dedicated to his muse. Meanwhile, newlyweds Malik and Lisa can't seem to get along.
- 17
Post-divorce Noah and Opus take up residence in a high end hotel until the Chatswin moms corner George and force him to intervene. Luckily George allows Noah and Opus to move in with him until they get back on their feet. Meanwhile, Dallas discovers that Dalia is a hoarder, and Fred enlists Tessa to school him on what's hip so he can land the job of his dreams.
- 18
After Alex disappears, George tries to rebuild his relationship with Tessa and he introduces her to his new dog. When Sheila Shay discovers that there's a dog on the loose in Chatswin, she dedicates herself to tracking this canine fiend and it's up to Tessa and George to protect him. Meanwhile, Dalia shuns Dallas after her break-up with Daddy Altman.
- 19
Dalia takes Mr. Wolfe under her wing to help him get over his breakup with Chef Alan. She convinces him to try a new look and plots to help Mr. Wolfe get revenge for his broken heart. Meanwhile, Noah is convinced Carmen is the love of his life and George and Dallas find themselves caught in the crossfire, while Tessa interns for Jill.
- 20
When Tessa convinces Dalia and the KKK to come up with feminist inspired Halloween costumes, she finds herself the interest of the infamous East Chatswin witch, played by guest star Rachel Dratch. As it turns out Paula isn't exactly what she seems. Meanwhile George and Noah dress up as each other, and Dallas invites George to be "Ken" to her "Barbie" -- but he declines, not realizing that she is asking him out -- .
- 21
When George agrees to participate in the "Dads of Chatswin" calendar, he becomes obsessed with his body image and alienates Dallas. Meanwhile Dalia buddies up to Tessa, and Lisa discovers her true motives.
- 22
When Tessa decides she wants to spend Thanksgiving in the city with her grandmother and birth mom, Dallas decides to fire Chef Alan and have George host Thanksgiving to keep him occupied. But when George finds his cooking skills inadequate, he winds up schilling out cash to Chef Alan to help make the meal edible. Meanwhile, after missing Alex in NYC, Tessa returns home to find a surprising Thanksgiving dinner.
- 23
Sheila launches a chastity campaign in Chatswin and convinces Mr. Wolfe to throw a Chastity Ball at the high school, assuming that Lisa will be crowned queen of the ball. Meanwhile George buys a house for Dallas and receives a visit from her ex-husband, and Tessa sets up residence in her bathroom stall at school.
- 24
When empty nest syndrome hits the Shay household, Sheila and Fred take in a foster kid named Victor who they believe to be a mini-Ryan. Jealous of the new Ryan, Lisa decides to make his life difficult and reveal him as a con. Meanwhile, Tessa puts the breaks on George's friendship with Dalia.
- 25
When Tessa returns to Chatswin after spending the summer in NYC with her grandmother, her burgeoning interest in her mom leaves George feeling threatened. In an effort to feel more connected to her mom's musical side, Tessa takes up the guitar and signs up to sing in the Fall Follies. Meanwhile, Noah decides he wants Carmen to come back and work for him, and he gets into an all out competition with Dallas over her.
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