Squidbillies (2005–2021)

1. S01E01This Show Is Called SquidbilliesOctober 16, 2005—The backstories of how the Squidbillies, America's favorite family, came to be.
2. S01E02Take This Job and Love ItOctober 23, 2005—Early seeks employment in a difficult job market.
3. S01E03School Days, Fool DaysOctober 30, 2005—After a debilitating sports injury, Rusty is home schooled by Early.
4. S01E04Chalky TroubleNovember 6, 2005—An ancient squid ceremony leads to revelations regarding Rusty's maternity.
5. S01E05Family TroubleNovember 13, 2005—Revelations regarding Rusty's maternity lead to questions regarding Rusty's paternity.
6. S01E06Office Politics TroubleNovember 20, 2005—Early concocts a popular new beverage.

Season 1 ranked & reviewed

1. S02E01Government Brain Voodoo TroubleSeptember 17, 2006—Early and Sheriff reach a crossroads.
2. S02E02Butt TroubleSeptember 24, 2006—Something strange comes out of Rusty's butt.
3. S02E03Double Truckin' the Tricky TwoOctober 1, 2006—Early tries to out-trick the Tricky Two numbers. Results include Rusty's eye being ripped out and Granny being ripped in half.
4. S02E04Swayze CrazyOctober 8, 2006—Early, watching one Roadhouse too many, mistakes a legless fat man as Patrick Swayze.
5. S02E05Giant Foam Dickhat TroubleOctober 15, 2006—Early goes to church wearing a giant foam penis hat and tries to steal a speaker. But when the speaker falls on him, he miraculously lives t
6. S02E06Meth O.D. to My MadnessOctober 22, 2006—Early buys a "hog lagoon", a range where he lets people shoot at the local porkers for a fee. But when he can't pay off Dan Halen's monthly
7. S02E07The Tiniest PrincessOctober 29, 2006—Early and Rusty are ready to go trick or treating for Halloween, but Granny's stories of a giant fire-ant man scare Rusty. Unfortunately, th
8. S02E08Asses to Ashes, Sluts to DustNovember 5, 2006—Early looks for money to get Granny a new gallbladder.
9. S02E09Bubba TrubbaNovember 12, 2006—Early and Rusty go to see "Plumber Bubba", a redneck plumber comedian who just might be a space alien out to suck people's brains out.
10. S02E10Burned and Reburned AgainNovember 19, 2006—Early is desperate for Krystal's attention, so they decide to get married. Until 38 Special shows up...
11. S02E11Terminus TroubleNovember 26, 2006—Early, Rusty, and Sheriff head over to Atlanta to see the famous corner where Kenny stood with the Six Pack.
12. S02E12Survival of the DumbestDecember 10, 2006—Rusty seeks the truth of how man came to be. However, Early, Granny, Lil, and Sheriff aren't good preachers.
13. S02E13A Sober SundayDecember 17, 2006—Early attempts to find liquor on Sunday. Dan Halen creates clones to landslide Proposition 421.
14. S02E14Rebel with a ClausDecember 24, 2006—Early takes Santa hostage, and only a NASCAR legend can save him.

Season 2 ranked & reviewed

1. S03E01WebnecksJanuary 20, 2008—Rusty discovers a world of digital wonder when he mashes buttons on a PDA given to him by the Sheriff.
2. S03E02Beast ImplantsJanuary 27, 2008—Granny gets 5th degree burns all over her body and has to get new skin.
3. S03E03Tween SteamFebruary 3, 2008—Dan Halen hires Rusty to attract pedophiles.
4. S03E04Wing NutFebruary 10, 2008—After seeing Early's pitiful chickens, Dan Halen sets out to create the perfect chicken.
5. S03E05Mephistopheles Traveled Below to a Southern State Whose Motto Is "Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation"February 17, 2008—Rusty sells his soul to the devil for guitar playing skills.
6. S03E06Earth WorstFebruary 24, 2008—After giant machines terrorize the land, dirty hippies show up to stop the "earth raping machines" with their good vibes, hacky sacks, and d
7. S03E07The Good OneMarch 2, 2008—Early gets a lifelong friend as a result of Lil's failure to use condoms.
8. S03E08SharifMarch 9, 2008—Dan Halen covers the town in a cloud of "Ice Wind", his new body spray. Meanwhile, the Sheriff takes up blogging and training for strongman
9. S03E09Condition: Demolition!March 16, 2008—Rusty discovers the joy of crashing cars, and agrees to face the "Bashitizing Smashmaster" for a chance to win an iPod.
10. S03E10The Appalachian Mud Squid: Darwin's DilemmaMarch 23, 2008—After the Sheriff learns from TV that the mud squid are an endangered species, he decides it's his sworn duty to protect the Cuyler family.
11. S03E11The Unbearable Heatness of FireApril 6, 2008—After the squids' house catches on fire, the Sheriff assesses the damage and investigates the fire's origin.
12. S03E12Tuscaloosa DumplingApril 13, 2008—Early teaches Rusty that life is a game and first place is sex.
13. S03E13Armageddon It On!April 20, 2008—The apocalypse comes to rural Georgia.
14. S03E14Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan HalenApril 27, 2008—A news magazine interviews and profiles the achievements and scandals of Dan Halen.
15. S03E15Flight of the Deep Fried Pine BoobyMay 4, 2008—When Dan Halen offers a reward for the rare 'deep fried pine booby', Early goes on the hunt.
16. S03E16An Officer and a Dental DamMay 11, 2008—After Granny passes on, the only way to revive her is for Robert E. Lee to make sweet love to her.
17. S03E17The Okaleechee Dam JamMay 18, 2008—When Palooka County is forced to conserve water due to a drought, Dan Halen enacts a complicated plan to get all the water he needs.
18. S03E18Pile M for MurderMay 25, 2008—Dan Halen is possessed by a demon and builds a human sacrifice theme park mountain.
19. S03E19Mud Days and CornfusedJune 1, 2008—During the annual 'Mud Days' celebration, Dan Halen unleashes a strain of genetically modified corn that forces people to 'go green'.
20. S03E20Krystal, LightJune 8, 2008—Early's passion for Krystal spikes after she wins the lottery.

Season 3 ranked & reviewed

1. S04E01LermMay 17, 2009—After the Cuyler home ends up in an intergalactic "car wreck", Early finds a new friend in the alien, Lerm.
2. S04E02The Liar, The Bitch and the Bored RubeMay 24, 2009—Books are a window to an amazing new world, and that's why they're wrong.
3. S04E03The FIne Ol' SolutionMay 31, 2009—Early protects menial American jobs from the Mexicans willing to do them.
4. S04E04Anabolic-holicJune 7, 2009—Rusty discovers that steroids have no negative repercussions.
5. S04E05Confessions of a Gangrenous MindJune 14, 2009—Oldest living confederate widow doesn’t say anything of real relevance.
6. S04E06The Big Gay ThrowdownJune 21, 2009—The Sheriff goes deep undercover to apprehend his most wanted man.
7. S04E07Atone DeafJune 28, 2009—Early learns to deal with rage by punching it in the face.
8. S04E08God's BroJuly 5, 2009—The Cuylers slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of God’s Bro.
9. S04E09Reunited, And It Feels No GoodJuly 19, 2009—Early learns the importance of family, and profiting off them.
10. S04E10Not Without My Cash Cow!July 19, 2009—When the media sensationalizes his son’s disappearance, Early finds the coverage to be sensational.

Season 4 ranked & reviewed

1. S05E01Need for WeedMay 16, 2010—The discovery of Lil's secret drug operation brings Widespread Panic to Dougal County.
2. S05E02The Many Loves of Early CuylerMay 23, 2010—Early has had sex with many different creatures. Rusty discovers that his penis is smaller than Rob Reiner's.
3. S05E03Dead Squid WalkingMay 30, 2010—Rusty receives a treasure map from his great-grandfather in a prison.
4. S05E04Young, Dumb and Full of GumsJune 6, 2010—Dan Halen tells the citizens of Dougal Country about Obama sneaking fluoride and other mind bending drugs in to the drinking water to indoct
5. S05E05Holodeck RedneckJune 13, 2010—The Sheriff shows Granny, Early and Rusty the cube house of the hologram to use their imaginations. Billie Reaves as Mammy (Granny's real m
6. S05E06Frivolacious Squidigation?June 20, 2010—Early sues Dan Halen after Granny gets hurt on one of the rides at the fair.
7. S05E07Fatal DistractionJune 27, 2010—Early's GPS unit develops a Bromance with him and tries to kill off Granny and Rusty so it and Early can be together. Featuring Paul Stanle
8. S05E08Clowny FreaksJuly 4, 2010—Rusty gets into a rap band and the fever catches Early as they both become "Clowny Freaks". Rusty eventually loses interest but not Early.
9. S05E09Lean Green Touchdown Makifying MachineJuly 11, 2010—Rusty discovers that he is one of the greatest football players around and this affords him a chance to go to college, but Early is against
10. S05E10America: Why I Love HerJuly 18, 2010—A very special Squidbillies musical in which Early and the rest of the group sing about how much they love the USA. First half-hour episode.

Season 5 ranked & reviewed

1. S06E01Asbestos I CanSeptember 11, 2011—Early's addiction to asbestos hats gives him a terminal disease, and the Sheriff decides to let Early have his last wishes granted.
2. S06E02Class of '86September 18, 2011—The 25-year high school reunion rolls around. Dan Halen forces the Sheriff to keep Early from the party (as he dropped out in second grade),
3. S06E03Velvet MessiahSeptember 25, 2011—Early steals granny's picture of Jesus and pretends to be him by hiding behind the picture while telling people what to do.
4. S06E04Big EOctober 2, 2011—Early attacks and nealy kills a radio announcer that upsets him. He ends up taking the announcers job and takes the title "Big E". He ends u
5. S06E05Keeping It in the Family WayOctober 9, 2011—Rusty finds a girlfriend and has sex for the first time. Early, infatuated with Rusty's girlfriend, becomes upset to and tries to break them
6. S06E06Snow DaddyOctober 16, 2011—Rusty forms a bond with a magical snowman who sheds doubt on Early's parenting skills.
7. S06E07BallmartOctober 23, 2011—Sheriff hires Granny and Early as greeters in Dan Halen's new Ball Mart super store.
8. S06E08The Pharaoh's WadOctober 30, 2011—Early becomes addicted to a video poker machine.
9. S06E09The Return of Gaga Pee PapNovember 6, 2011—A terminally ill GaGa returns to make peace with his family before death, and "get them again" one more time.
10. S06E10Trucked Up!November 13, 2011—After being challenged on his knowledge of trucking by Rusty, Early recounts his time as The Scrambler, a rebel trucker who took on trucking

Season 6 ranked & reviewed

1. S07E01Rusty and Tammi Sitting in a Tree, B-A-S-T-A-R-DJuly 22, 2012—Rusty sacrifices his mediocre dreams to support the family that abandons him.
2. S07E02Beware the Butt-CutterJuly 29, 2012—Sheriff asks the townspeople to help catch a serial killer.
3. S07E03Squidbilly ManfishingAugust 5, 2012—Sheriff and Rusty set out to join Early's guys-only fishin' weekend.
4. S07E04Green and SoberAugust 12, 2012—Lil goes to drug rehab.
5. S07E05The Legend of Kid SquidAugust 19, 2012—Early is jealous that Rusty is taking credit for crimes.
6. S07E06From Russia With StudAugust 26, 2012—Sheriff nearly makes the biggest mistake of his life.

Season 7 ranked & reviewed

1. S08E01Granite CavernsAugust 11, 2013—Early becomes king of a cave.
2. S08E02Ga-Ga-GhostAugust 18, 2013—Early causes trouble with his father's ghost.
3. S08E03The Inkubator Lives!August 25, 2013—Rusty becomes an amateur crime fighter, shirking his responsibilities as a deadbeat father.
4. S08E04Drone To The BoneSeptember 9, 2013—Rusty gets recruited to pilot drones for the Army. Early & Granny move into a new housing development, away from the chicken crap.
5. S08E05A Jailhouse DividedSeptember 15, 2013—Deputy Sheriff Denny runs for sheriff.
6. S08E06Stop. Jammertime!September 22, 2013—A new judge sets out to punish criminals.
7. S08E07Thou Shale Not DrillSeptember 29, 2013—The squids debate fracture mining.
8. S08E08The Squid Stays in the PictureOctober 6, 2013—Early is taken in by liberal Hollywood.
9. S08E09Gun of a SonOctober 13, 2013—In a plot to prove guns should be legal, Early shoots Rusty.

Season 8 ranked & reviewed

1. S09E01Hetero-Cephalo AgendaSeptember 21, 2014—Early picks the wrong side in the battle for marriage equality.
2. S09E02LimbitlessSeptember 28, 2014—Early trades his legs.
3. S09E03Taint Misbehavin'October 5, 2014—Dan Halen faces his own mortality and finds solace in an ancient religion.
4. S09E04Ink Is Thicker Than Blood, Which Is Thicker Than WaterOctober 12, 2014—Rusty commits a felony offense to prove he's a good dad.
5. S09E05Bunker Down, You Hairy Dawg!October 19, 2014—Early acquires a doomsday bunker when he triggers the collapse of society.
6. S09E06A Walk To DignityNovember 2, 2014—Sheriff's dad breaks the law.
7. S09E07Granny HotfootNovember 9, 2014—Early discovers a new way to defeat Granny.
8. S09E08Sheriff-in-lawNovember 16, 2014—Early directs his love in the wrong places.
9. S09E09Hybrid To HellNovember 23, 2014—Early loses the love of his life.
10. S09E10Jose, Can You? Si!November 30, 2014—Early learns the value of a hard day's work done by someone else.

Season 9 ranked & reviewed

1. S10E01Lipstick on a SquidJuly 10, 2016—In the 10th season premiere, the Cuylers donate their bodies to science.
2. S10E02Southern Pride and PrejudiceJuly 17, 2016—Early gets stuck in a symbol of his own oppression.
3. S10E03Trackwood Race-istJuly 24, 2016—Early battles his grandson.
4. S10E04The PeepJuly 31, 2016—Sheriff tries stand-up comedy.
5. S10E05VickiAugust 7, 2016—Sheriff's old classmate makes the mistake of returning to town.
6. S10E06Cephalo-ectomyAugust 14, 2016—You can take the squid out of the boy, but it's not covered by insurance.
7. S10E07Greener PastorAugust 21, 2016—Scott Hilley dies.
8. S10E08Squash B'GoshOctober 30, 2016—Jealousy sparks industry sparks grave robbery sparks the apocalypse.
9. S10E09Thanks-takingNovember 20, 2016—Rusty’s new friend gets invited to a very special Thanksgiving dinner.

Season 10 ranked & reviewed

1. S11E01Dove in an Iron CageOctober 15, 2017—Justice is served, mayo free.
2. S11E02The Guzzle BumpkinOctober 22, 2017—Grab deez nutz and Guzzle up!
3. S11E03Jacksonville JackassOctober 29, 2017—Sheriff discovers alcohol at the world's largest outdoor cocktail party.
4. S11E04The Knights of the Noble Order of the Mystic Turquoise GobletNovember 5, 2017—Early's most confusing conspiracy theory turns out to be false.
5. S11E05The Ballad of the Latrine MarineNovember 12, 2017—It takes a man to make the women's room safe from men who think they're women.
6. S11E06Debased BallNovember 19, 2017—Early exploits himself for attention.
7. S11E07Tortuga de MentirasNovember 26, 2017—Everyone lies and all the houses burn.
8. S11E08Duel of the DimwitsDecember 3, 2017—Two idiots argue about stuff nobody cares about.
9. S11E09The War On the War On ChristmasDecember 10, 2017—Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merr
10. S11E10Dewey Two-eyDecember 17, 2017—Two idiots open competing taquerias mere feet from one another.

Season 11 ranked & reviewed

1. S12E01Forever AutumnAugust 11, 2019—Dan Halen's foolish new plan prompts Early to open a foolish new business.
2. S12E02GalvinAugust 11, 2019—Granny finds love and Early loses his mind
3. S12E03Muscadine WineAugust 18, 2019—Early and Tammi start a band in a star-studded episode
4. S12E04The Reenactment of the Repulsion of the Siege of Cuyler MountainAugust 25, 2019—After finding a priceless Civil War relic, Early sells it for a reasonable price
5. S12E05Rich Dan, Poor DanAugust 25, 2019—Dan Halen is disappointed to discover financial bankruptcy is not as good as moral bankruptcy
6. S12E06Cooler-Heads PrevailSeptember 8, 2019—A premium cooler allows Early to enjoy a new, highfalutin lifestyle
7. S12E07Blue Lives BatteredSeptember 8, 2019—A social media stunt almost takes Sheriff's life.
8. S12E08There's Sucker Porn Every MinuteSeptember 15, 2019—Early lets his beak flag fly.
9. S12E09Events By RussellSeptember 15, 2019—Rusty's new party business is disrupted by Early

Season 12 ranked & reviewed

1. S13E01One Man BannedNovember 8, 2021—Early exercises his freedom of speech by speaking differently from now on.
2. S13E02Let 'er R.I.P.November 8, 2021—The Roadkill Rembrandt rides again.
3. S13E03No Space Like HomeNovember 15, 2021—Early revisits the storage unit where he spent his childhood.
4. S13E04Scorn on the 4th of JulyNovember 15, 2021—Early poses as a military veteran to save 10% on an omelet.
5. S13E05Zen and the Art of Truck-Boat-Truck MaintenanceNovember 22, 2021—Early achieves enlightenment, then shoves it down everyone else's throat.
6. S13E06Who-Gives-a-Flip?November 22, 2021—The exploits of a squid family and their interactions with the community.
7. S13E07Ol' HootieDecember 6, 2021—Terror strikes from the skies.
8. S13E08The Liceman ComethDecember 13, 2021—Early is forced to choose between his community and his hats.
9. S13E09This Show Was Called SquidbilliesDecember 13, 2021—Saying farewell to America's favorite animated family.

Season 13 ranked & reviewed