Spooner's Patch

1. S01E01The Unwanted PrisonerJuly 9, 1979—Spooner isn't amused when the inscription 'Spooner's Pigsty' is daubed on the noticeboard; or when Constable Bulsover drives straight into h
2. S01E02The Morning After...July 16, 1979—Spooner emerges from his flat above the station, still in his dressing gown and suffering a hangover with accompanying memory loss.
3. S01E03The Share-OutJuly 30, 1979—Bribery and corruption? Spooner and Goatman make a stout denial when the golf trolleys they trundle into the station prove to be full of wi
4. S01E04The Presentation ClockAugust 13, 1979—Spooner's great ambition is to win the golf club championship and the presentation clock that goes with it. In spite of cheating, he fails,
5. S01E05Par for the CourseAugust 20, 1979—Nothing goes right for Spooner on the day he is to play golf with the club president — from trouble with pensioners to being badly chauffeur
6. S01E06The Share-OutMarch 19, 1980—The Mayor, one of Spooner's few admirers, asks him to keep an eye on his house while he is away. Greta, the au pair, is certainly worth keep

Season 1 ranked & reviewed

1. S02E01High NoonSeptember 4, 1980—Spooner indulges in some naughty frolics with the wife of a convicted criminal, not realising that he's due for imminent release.
2. S02E02Psycho on the RoofSeptember 11, 1980—Mrs Cantaford persecution of an unfortunate motorist drives him over the edge – almost literally – when he threatens to throw himself off a
3. S02E03Spooner's BoxSeptember 18, 1980—Mrs. Cantaford drops Spooner's crew in the deep end when she carelessly confides their lunchtime drinking habits to the Chief Superintendent
4. S02E04Drag-NetSeptember 25, 1980—Under protest, Bulsover is made to drag up as a decoy to catch a flasher in the act.
5. S02E05Spooner's ThatchOctober 9, 1980—Ordering up an Adonis Invisiwig to make himself look more suave soon gives Spooner cause for regret.
6. S02E06The Birthday DoubleOctober 16, 1980—Spooner is appalled at the apparent effeminacy in his subordinates when he discovers that both Bulsover and Killick wear nail varnish.

Season 2 ranked & reviewed

1. S03E01The Big MatchApril 15, 1982—Daily mundanities and a vanload of drunken Scotsmen conspire to keep Spooner from watching a key football match.
2. S03E02The Lock-UpApril 22, 1982—Taking a thrashing from Bulsover during a self-defence lesson that he foolishly instigated, Spooner starts fiddling with a pair of hand cuff
3. S03E03Finders, Keepers...!April 29, 1982—Bulsover finds a locked briefcase whilst cleaning out a squad car. They find out it's full of jewellery, but who does it belong to?
4. S03E04The StingMay 6, 1982—Spooner is seduced by the bright lights of showbiz when a producer asks for his help in the making of a new film.
5. S03E05Suffer the Little Children...May 13, 1982—Spooner meets his match when a young boy turns up at the police station on his mother's orders.
6. S03E06Vote, Mrs CantafordMay 20, 1982—Mrs Cantaford tries to curtail Spooner's despotic activities by running for councillor on a 'get rid of filth' ticket.
7. S03E07Police IntelligenceAugust 24, 1982—Extreme bordedom drives everyone to distraction and forces Spooner to fear for Bulsover's sanity.

Season 3 ranked & reviewed