Never the Twain

1. S01E01Families At WarSeptember 7, 1981—The feuding fathers find out about the relationship between their son and daughter and consider taking steps to prevent a marriage.
2. S01E02Of Meissen MenSeptember 14, 1981—Veronica appears on the scene - causing Simon and Oliver to compete for more than antiquities.
3. S01E03A Night At The OperaSeptember 21, 1981—Veronica wants to go to the opera in Edinburgh. Simon and Oliver each compete to be her date. Simon has to find a replacement au pair.
4. S01E04A Matched PairSeptember 28, 1981—Oliver's antiques shop is burgled. A pair of pistols is reported missing, but when these mysteriously turn up in Simon's shop Oliver turns t
5. S01E05Nothing But The TruthOctober 5, 1981—Oliver beats Simon to a painting they both want. But is it a Constable or not? David confesses propositioning another woman, jeopardising th
6. S01E06Father Of The GroomOctober 19, 1981—Simon holds a dinner for Oliver, Lyn and David, his ulterior motive being to expose Oliver's lack of etiquette. Lyn prepares for her move in

Season 1 ranked & reviewed

1. S02E01Who's Been Sleeping In My Bed ?September 7, 1982—Simon nominates Oliver for membership of his golf club. Oliver holds a function for the committee members to win their support. Lyn and Davi
2. S02E02As Young As You FeelSeptember 14, 1982—Simon and Oliver seek to win Veronica's affections. Oliver reaches the age of 50. Lyn is concerned about her father being lonely, but David
3. S02E03A Woman's Place ...September 21, 1982—David and Lyn quarrel about her taking a full-time job. Oliver seeks a new cleaner. Simon is losing to Oliver in a telephone chess game and
4. S02E04Blood BrothersSeptember 28, 1982—Simon needs a blood transfusion, but he has a rare blood type. Oliver has the same blood type and agrees to donate in return for favours fro
5. S02E05lf You Knew SusanOctober 5, 1982—Simon's sister visits him and Oliver immediately falls for her. Simon and Oliver each purchase one of a pair of figurines and then attempt t
6. S02E06The More We Are TogetherOctober 12, 1982—Oliver and Simon each separately consider reforming their partnership due to the poor state of their accounts and the imminent arrival of th

Season 2 ranked & reviewed

1. S03E01Taking StockOctober 10, 1983—Oliver and Simon have re-entered their partnership. They decide to do a stocktake. Oliver meets up with an old school friend, Bethan. Confus
2. S03E02PartnersOctober 17, 1983—Simon receives an offer for his shop. Oliver thinks that Ringo has won the pools and breaks his partnership with Simon, offering Ringo a par
3. S03E03A Nose For QualityOctober 24, 1983—Both Simon and Oliver believe that they have appointments to meet Lady Deveraux with a view to purchasing some of her antiques.
4. S03E04The End Of The LineOctober 31, 1983—Oliver and Simon discuss the issue of grandchildren. David claims to have had a vasectomy. Oliver and Simon join a dating agency as an alter
5. S03E05The Welsh ConnectionNovember 7, 1983—Simon and Oliver go on a health kick. An auction in Wales causes disagreement between the two men.
6. S03E06Not On The Same WavelengthNovember 14, 1983—Simon and Oliver are invited as guests onto a radio show. The two men become convinced that Lyn is pregnant.

Season 3 ranked & reviewed

1. S04E01A Home of Your OwnNovember 8, 1984—David and Lyn have moved to Canada. Simon needs to find someone to rent his flat quickly before his Aunt Eleanor moves in.
2. S04E02The Royal ConnectionNovember 15, 1984—Oliver attempts to gain the Royal Warrant for his shop from the Prince of Wales. Simon investigates his family tree in the hope of finding t
3. S04E03Words and MusicNovember 22, 1984—Oliver and Simon volunteer to perform at a Vet Circle luncheon for Caroline.
4. S04E04No Flame Like An Old FlameNovember 29, 1984—Simon's life becomes complicated when an old sweetheart pays him an unexpected visit.
5. S04E05Love's Neighbours' LostDecember 6, 1984—Oliver and Simon duel over a woman, Caroline. But they find that there is another man vying for her affections.
6. S04E06Come Fly with Me!December 13, 1984—Following a recent spate of shop burglaries Simon installs a state of the art alarm system but when he forgets his passport breaks into the

Season 4 ranked & reviewed

1. S05E01In Whom We TrystJanuary 8, 1986—Peel and Smallbridge become attracted to the same shop assistant.
2. S05E02Going, Going, Gone!January 15, 1986—Peel and Smallbridge have to share a room in a country pub.
3. S05E03Thicker Than WaterJanuary 22, 1986—Simon reveals that he was left at an orphanage as a baby.
4. S05E04Kung Who?January 29, 1986—Simon takes up judo to defend himself against likely muggers and invites Oliver to accompany him to his class at the gym.
5. S05E05Reading Between the LinesFebruary 5, 1986—Simon is aghast to learn that oily solicitor Brimley, with whom he was at school, is handling the property next to the antique shops and pla
6. S05E06Definitely Not Cricket!February 12, 1986—Lady Devereaux offers Simon some sporting memorabilia at knock-down prices provided he captains her staff cricket team against the rival sid

Season 5 ranked & reviewed

1. S06E01Feed A ColdJanuary 15, 1987—Simon has a cold and Oliver offers to look after him.
2. S06E02Going to PotJanuary 22, 1987—Ringo decides to get some culture. After meeting one of his teachers, Simon and Oliver are pleased to accept his invitation to dinner and Si
3. S06E03Love ls A Many Splendoured ThingJanuary 29, 1987—Oliver has fallen in love, however trouble arises after he meets his future mother-in-law.
4. S06E04A Night to RememberFebruary 5, 1987—Burglars are in the neighbourhood, leading to an eventful night for the two households.
5. S06E05The Battle of Deveraux DaleFebruary 12, 1987—Lady Deveraux asks Simon and Oliver to take part in a historical re-enactment of a Civil War battle, the battle of Deveraux Dale, at the vil
6. S06E06Affair of the HeartFebruary 19, 1987—Simon's ex-wife Stephanie arrives unexpectedly.

Season 6 ranked & reviewed

1. S07E01Settled Out of CourtJanuary 27, 1988—A legal dispute arises between the two antique dealers following an incident in Oliver's shop.
2. S07E02The Wagers of SinFebruary 3, 1988—Oliver and Simon decide to have a wager on who can make the most profit on an item chosen by the other.
3. S07E03Betrothed, Bothered and BewilderedFebruary 10, 1988—After a boozy night out, Banks remembers that he has proposed to Mrs Sadler. However, neither wants to go through with it, although they don
4. S07E04The Second Time AroundFebruary 17, 1988—Mrs Sadler is missing Banks. Fortunately, there is a happy ending for both of them.
5. S07E05Born to Blush UnseenFebruary 24, 1988—Gardening Time. Oliver has something to show from his gardening efforts.
6. S07E06Fasten Your Seat BeltsMarch 2, 1988—Simon & Oliver get severely drunk on Simon's birthday, and decide to visit their children in Canada.

Season 7 ranked & reviewed

1. S08E01Grandfathers-In-LawOctober 24, 1988—Lyn and David, with their baby Martin, return from Canada, causing great excitement to Simon and Oliver. However, the grandfathers have to l
2. S08E02Nursery TimesOctober 31, 1988—Lyn and David are looking for a flat while staying at Simon's house. But Oliver would like them to stay with him too.
3. S08E03Whose Baby?November 7, 1988—The christening is scheduled and Stephanie, Simon's ex, is invited, causing anxiety for both Simon and Oliver.
4. S08E04Never Say DieNovember 14, 1988—Simon has to go into hospital but confusion arises.
5. S08E05Moving OnNovember 21, 1988—The house-hunting by Lyn and David reaches a conclusion. It causes Simon and Oliver to think about their own situation.
6. S08E06It's A Long Way To Friern BarnetNovember 28, 1988—Lyn and David move to their new flat. Oliver and Simon decide to help them by redecorating the flat.

Season 8 ranked & reviewed

1. S09E01Just the TicketSeptember 6, 1989—A series of mishaps contribute to a difficult day for Simon and, especially, Oliver.
2. S09E02A Point of HonourSeptember 13, 1989—Simon advertises for an assistant for his shop but runs into trouble after interviewing one applicant.
3. S09E03A New Lease of LifeSeptember 20, 1989—Simon is feeling melancholic and decides to make a big change to his life.
4. S09E04Aspects of LoveSeptember 27, 1989—Simon arouses Oliver's suspicions and, in turn, Oliver is the subject of a rumour. These lead to gossip in the village.
5. S09E05NeighboursOctober 4, 1989—Simon holds a meeting of the Residents' Association. There is a new resident who is about to move in and this leads to a sleepless night for
6. S09E06Bonjour Paris!October 11, 1989—Off to Paris but soon they are in trouble at the restaurant and with the police, also causing a lot of trouble to an embassy official.
7. S09E07A Winter's TaleDecember 28, 1989—Christmas time. Simon and Oliver volunteer to keep watch overnight in the local church.

Season 9 ranked & reviewed

1. S10E01X Marks the SpotSeptember 5, 1990—Oliver and Simon both decide to stand for election to the local Council.
2. S10E02S.W.A.L.K.September 12, 1990—Simon has a female pen-pal who he is looking forward to meeting, with a view to marriage. However, the reality is different.
3. S10E03Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?September 19, 1990—Both Oliver and Simon are doing the pools and hope to win big. After Oliver makes a mistake, Simon takes the opportunity to have some fun.
4. S10E04Happy HolidaySeptember 26, 1990—A weekend away for Simon and Oliver in Ringo's mother's country cottage. Trouble is that it's the wrong weekend.
5. S10E05There But for the Grace of GodOctober 3, 1990—Simon comes across an old acquaintance who is down on their luck.
6. S10E06A Car By Any Other NameOctober 10, 1990—The vicar wants to sell his car and gets Simon to help, while Oliver is also selling his car. A confusing time is the result.

Season 10 ranked & reviewed

1. S11E01Viva Espana!September 4, 1991—Ringo wins a holiday in a competition and they all go to Spain.
2. S11E02The Best Laid PlansSeptember 11, 1991—It is the 10th anniversary of the two antique dealers being in business; they decide to go out to have a meal and visit the theatre. But the
3. S11E03Born AgainSeptember 18, 1991—Simon is searching for the meaning of life and thinks he has found it after listening to a preacher in the park. Oliver, however, sees a bus
4. S11E04There Goes the BrideSeptember 25, 1991—Aunt Eleanor decides to get married after a whirlwind romance.
5. S11E05Two Fools and Their MoneyOctober 2, 1991—Both Simon and Oliver are in financial difficulties and decide to approach their bank manager.
6. S11E06The First of the QueueOctober 9, 1991—Oliver tells Simon about a bargain in a shop, which leads to extraordinary efforts by the two to be first in the queue to buy it. Guest star

Season 11 ranked & reviewed