Till Death Us Do Part

1. S01E01Arguments, Arguments...June 6, 1966—Proud house owner and Tory Alf Garnett is angered by his socialist son-in-law Mike's comments about the family home being a slum. Further hu
2. S01E02Hair Raising!June 13, 1966—Following yet another political spat with Mike and a subsequent nap, Alf heads off to the pub. There, he's unable to understand why all the
3. S01E03A House with Love in ItJune 20, 1966—It's Alf and Else's 25th wedding anniversary; however, needless to say, Alf has forgotten and it's left to Mike to give him a present to pas
4. S01E04IntoleranceJune 27, 1966—Alf reluctantly accompanies Mike to see Liverpool play Borussia Dortmund in the European Champions cup. There, his racism takes its toll as
5. S01E05Two Toilets? ... That's Posh!July 4, 1966—With no bathroom or inside toilet in his terrace house, Alf resigns himself to washing in the old tin bath in the kitchen whilst Else hangs
6. S01E06From Liverpool with LoveJuly 18, 1966—Alf is less than pleased when Mike's Irish parentsbcome to stay for the week. However a bizarre alliance forms between Alf and his son-in-la
7. S01E07ClaustrophobiaAugust 1, 1966—The Garnetts visit the West country on holiday. Alf is driving (badly) and, to make matters worse, it turns out that he does not even have a

Season 1 ranked & reviewed

1. S02E01Peace and GoodwillDecember 26, 1966—As the Garnetts celebrate Christmas, Alf berates Rita and Mike for only giving him 'Whiffs' as opposed to real cigars and second-rate socks
2. S02E02Sex Before MarriageJanuary 2, 1967—The sexual morals of the youth of the mid-1960s are far from acceptable to pedagogue Alf, and when Rita's virtue is brought into question by
3. S02E03I Can Give Up Any Time I LikeJanuary 9, 1967—Pipe smoker Alf reluctantly accepts a challenge given by Mike to give up smoking. Both Else and Rita are pleased, but which of the two men w
4. S02E04The Bulldog BreedJanuary 16, 1967—In yet another political argument, this time about the war in Vietnam, Alf declares that all protesters are Communists. However, when a lorr
5. S02E05Caviar on the DoleJanuary 23, 1967—When Mike loses his job and has to sign on the dole, Alf is suspicious because he offers to give him more money for the rent. It turns out t
6. S02E06A Woman's Place Is in the HomeJanuary 30, 1967—Alf comes home late from work and finds his dinner burnt to a crisp in the oven. Else tells him that Mike is at the chip shop and that if he
7. S02E07A Wapping MythologyFebruary 6, 1967—Alf returns home full of pride, having bought a portrait photograph of the Duke of Windsor—the former King Edward VIII—he astonishes his fam
8. S02E08In Sickness and in Health...February 13, 1967—Alf is in hospital for a short stay and he is not a model patient. Uncomfortable with a Black nurse, he defies hygiene by trying to clean hi
9. S02E09State VisitFebruary 20, 1967—Learning that the Socialist prime minister he despises, Harold Wilson, is hosting the Russian premier, Alf is appalled, seeing this as yet a
10. S02E10Alf's Dilemma (aka Cleaning Up TV)February 27, 1967—Alf has a stomach bug but Else has blocked the toilet with tea leaves so he has to keep going next door. After decrying immigrants for bring

Season 2 ranked & reviewed

1. S03E01The PhoneJanuary 5, 1968—When Mike is unable to get into the phone box to place Alf's bet on a horse which ultimately wins, Alf decides it's time for the Garnetts to
2. S03E02The Blood DonorJanuary 12, 1968—Believing that Alf is scared to be a blood donor, Mike bets that even if he did give blood, it would be rejected. Alf is sure that his blood
3. S03E03MonopolyJanuary 19, 1968—On New Year's Eve, Alf, not wanting to join the others at the party over the road, gets out his old Monopoly set. When everyone returns, the
4. S03E04The FuneralJanuary 26, 1968—Out of grudging respect for a late female neighbour he despised, Alf orders the telly off for the whole day. Mike informs Alf that his belov
5. S03E05FootballFebruary 2, 1968—Despite confiscating the local kids' football, Alf is invited by the vicar to act as youth soccer coach, attracting scorn from Mike. Needles
6. S03E06The PuppyFebruary 9, 1968—Alf returns from the pub with a mongrel puppy. The family find it adorable but it isn't exactly house-trained. The more the others find it c
7. S03E07Aunt MaudFebruary 16, 1968—When Else is laid up with bronchitis, her sister Maud arrives to care for the family. She and Alf hate each other and, after he insults her

Season 3 ranked & reviewed

1. S04E01To Garnett a GrandsonSeptember 13, 1972—Rita gives birth to a son and Alf, eventually – as he would rather be in the pub wetting the baby's head – visits her in hospital. Initial p
2. S04E02Pigeon FancierSeptember 20, 1972—Alf has received a tax rebate and is celebrating by blowing it in the pub, where he hears about another regular's racing pigeons. Alf believ
3. S04E03Holiday in BournemouthSeptember 27, 1972—The Garnetts take a train to Bournemouth, where Alf gets into an argument with an Indian passenger and is aghast to be informed that the man
4. S04E04Dock PilferingOctober 11, 1972—Even at the breakfast table, Alf is on his high horse, mouthing off about how the government should put looters and thieves up against the w
5. S04E05Up the HammersOctober 18, 1972—Alf wants his grandson Michael to play for West Ham, and follow in the footsteps of his beloved Bobby Moore, so he whisks baby Michael away
6. S04E06Alf's Broken LegOctober 25, 1972—Alf is bedridden, having slipped on Else's newly-polished floor and broken his leg. Bored with being stuck inside, he asks Else to push him

Season 4 ranked & reviewed

1. S05E01TV LicenceJanuary 2, 1974—Alf is determined to respect the two minutes silence 'To honor the dead' on Remembrance Day but will Rita and Mike's disrespect and wife Els
2. S05E02The Royal WeddingJanuary 9, 1974—Princess Anne is set to marry Captain Mark Phillips, so Alf, loyal to the royal family, celebrates by organising a street party, complete wi
3. S05E03Strikes and BlackoutsJanuary 23, 1974—It's freezing outside, and it's worsened by the miners' strike. A cold and hungry Alf explodes in rage when Else tells him she has no food i
4. S05E04Three Day WeekJanuary 30, 1974—In line with his Tory leader's declaration, Alf is now working three days but is appalled to find Else is doing the same and she hasn't cook
5. S05E05Gran's WatchFebruary 5, 1974—Gran is very ill and Else is very concerned, while Alf is uncaring, they visit the sick old lady. Alf, believing Gran is not long for this w
6. S05E06Party NightFebruary 12, 1974—Supreme male chauvinist pig Alf is put to the test when Else and Rita get drunk at the pub. Things get worse when he tangles with a blonde c
7. S05E07Paki-PaddyFebruary 28, 1974—While boozing at the pub, racist Alf makes Gran laugh by ridiculing the Pakistani, 'Paki-Paddy'. But the laughter screeches to a halt when G

Season 5 ranked & reviewed

1. S06E01Phone Call to ElseJanuary 8, 1975—Alf is well and truly missing Else's housework and cooking so he rings her to ask when she will be home but receives no definite answer. Els
2. S06E02Marital BlissJanuary 15, 1975—Alf finds himself in the middle when neighbour Bert arrives, closely followed by his wife Min after they've had a row over her food. The two
3. S06E03Wedgie BennJanuary 22, 1975—Alf, the Reeds, and the Rawlins get involved in the undeniable political discourse. Alf regards long term Labour minister Anthony Wedgewood
4. S06E04The WakeJanuary 29, 1975—Min's mother has died and everybody has returned from the funeral though Min is adamant that her mother will be reincarnated as a blackbird.
5. S06E05Christmas Club BooksFebruary 5, 1975—Alf has been asked to look after the Christmas club subscriptions at the local pub in Else's absence. However, maths isn't his strong point
6. S06E06The LetterFebruary 12, 1975—Else has sent a letter to Min and not to Alf, suggesting that Rita and Mike bring Michael Junior to Australia, as she has no intention of re

Season 6 ranked & reviewed

1. S07E01Moving in with MinNovember 5, 1975—With no sign of Else ever returning, Alf decides to put his house on the market, though with Rita and Mike as sitting tenants, this creates
2. S07E02Min the HousekeeperNovember 12, 1975—Returning home from work, Alf finds Min with her feet up watching his colour television with no attempt to make him dinner. This is the cue
3. S07E03Drunk in Charge of a BicycleNovember 19, 1975—Min has decided that Bert must lose weight and keep fit by going out jogging. Alf accompanies on a pushbike to make sure that Bert keeps pac
4. S07E04The WindowNovember 26, 1975—When Mike points out that the windows at the Garnett house have not been washed in years, Alf decides to save money and clean them himself r
5. S07E05A Hole in OneDecember 3, 1975—Alf and Bert decide to increase their status by joining the local golf club though they're not very good and the regular club members notice
6. S07E06UnemploymentDecember 17, 1975—Alf is not a happy bigot; he's lost his job and returns to an empty and dark house. And all on his birthday too. He fears that he has been b

Season 7 ranked & reviewed