Teachers (2001–2004)

1. S01E01Episode OneMarch 21, 2001—Simon’s life is a tragedy. He’s attracted to his dad’s fiancée, the stripper he just slept with is actually a real policewoman, and Jenny is
2. S01E02Episode TwoMarch 28, 2001—Susan’s convinced Simon has a thing for women with authority. He’s determined to prove her wrong, even though his new policewoman girlfriend
3. S01E03Episode ThreeApril 4, 2001—Maggie’s upset that Simon was clearly so embarrassed of her when she met his friends, so she stops returning his calls. Brian and Kurt let S
4. S01E04Episode FourApril 11, 2001—Simon’s terrified his sex life is deteriorating when he and Maggie go for a few days without any action, and he feels intimidated when he fi
5. S01E05Episode FiveApril 18, 2001—The students lock Simon and Jenny in the stationery cupboard, where sexual tension gets the better of them. Spurred on by guilt, Simon moves
6. S01E06Episode SixApril 25, 2001—It’s open evening, and Susan’s husband turns up angrily demanding she accompany him to his work dinner. When she storms off, everyone thinks
7. S01E07Episode SevenMay 2, 2001—Pornography with teachers’ faces superimposed on it has been doing the rounds, including a delightful depiction of Simon and Bob together. A
8. S01E08Episode EightMay 9, 2001—Simon has his big interview, and finds out if he can keep his job. Liz can’t wait to tell everyone about Kurt’s secret relationship with Car

Season 1 ranked & reviewed

1. S02E01Episode OneMarch 13, 2002—It’s a new term. Simon mistakes new languages tutor J.P. for a sixth former, and buxom newcomer Penny receives a lot of attention from the m
2. S02E02Episode TwoMarch 20, 2002—Carol continues to pursue Kurt, even though he insists their relationship is over and tries to convince her that Penny is his new girlfriend
3. S02E03Episode ThreeMarch 27, 2002—Jenny’s house-shaking romping with her new boyfriend Alec is driving Susan crazy, so she agrees to get a flat with Simon. And then Brian and
4. S02E04Episode FourApril 3, 2002—When J.P. comes out to the rest of the teachers, Simon, Kurt and Susan begin a campaign of wind-ups against Brian. But with J.P.’s help, Bri
5. S02E05Episode FiveApril 10, 2003—Susan drags the others over to the house to prove how annoying Jenny’s boyfriend is. Brian and Kurt are confused when J.P. spends the night
6. S02E06Episode SixApril 17, 2002—A delusional Bob manages to convince himself that Penny fancies him. This spurs him into undergoing a ridiculous fitness regime, which soon
7. S02E07Episode SevenApril 24, 2002—When a former student brings her baby into school to illustrate the hardships of motherhood, Susan ends up desperate for a child of her own.
8. S02E08Episode EightMay 1, 2002—Jenny decides it’s time to finish with Alec; she just needs to work out how. Meanwhile, Simon shocks everyone by announcing he’s going to qu
9. S02E09Episode NineMay 8, 2002—Having split up with Alec, Jenny’s going through a hedonistic phase—much to Brian and Kurt’s delight as she keeps buying all the drinks.
10. S02E10Episode TenMay 15, 2002—Penny takes a shine to Simon’s replacement Matt because he’s the only person who talks to her. And Kurt wonders if he made a mistake splitti

Season 2 ranked & reviewed

1. S03E01Episode OneAugust 6, 2003—A new term and a new teacher, in the (rather large) shape of Lindsay. She can outdrink the boys, and Brian in particular thinks she’s brilli
2. S03E02Episode TwoAugust 13, 2003—Penny’s self-obsession and self-pity have reached such dizzying new heights that she’s driving everyone insane. Bored to tears with her moan
3. S03E03Episode ThreeAugust 20, 2003—Kurt thinks his luck with the ladies is changing. At parents’ evening he meets a woman he reckons he has a good chance of pulling. As usual,
4. S03E04Episode FourAugust 27, 2003—Bobs wife throws him out of the house and moves her boyfriend in. For the first time, Liz takes pity on this dishevelled wreck. But a combin
5. S03E05Episode FiveSeptember 3, 2003—Lindsay is about to turn 30, which is fine, until everyone points out that 30 is very old. What’s the best way to handle being 30? Grow old
6. S03E06Episode SixSeptember 10, 2003—Half the staff are off with stress, leaving the other half even more stressed. In a desperate bid to relieve the pressure, Clare assigns the
7. S03E07Episode SevenSeptember 17, 2003—There’s something disturbing in the air. A stranger, with a sinister beard, is lurking by the perimeter fence. But it turns out that he’s no
8. S03E08Episode EightSeptember 24, 2003—The English department are left without a head when Bob is taken in for emergency surgery, and Clare decides that, whether he likes it or no
9. S03E09Episode NineOctober 1, 2003—The teachers are depressed that none of them is in a functional relationship, until Liz points out that Brian and Kurt are as good as marrie
10. S03E10Episode TenOctober 8, 2003—Students and parents have been complaining about Lindsay, and she’s ended up with a formal warning. So she’s going to transform herself into
11. S03E11Episode ElevenOctober 15, 2003—Brians obsessed with Eileen—the only good-looking dinner lady in the world—and when Bob starts complaining loudly about the canteen food, Br
12. S03E12Episode TwelveOctober 22, 2003—When Brian and Kurt race each other to school, Kurt’s desire to win results in injury. Brian’s attempts to administer first aid only serve t
13. S03E13Episode ThirteenOctober 29, 2003—Love, lust, and general weirdness are in the air. Penny’s started a new romance, Clare’s getting frisky, and in a drunken moment Matt and Li

Season 3 ranked & reviewed

1. S04E01Episode OneOctober 26, 2004—Summerdown has merged with another school and it’s all change for the teachers. Bob is struggling to adjust: he’s been demoted, and his new
2. S04E02Episode TwoNovember 2, 2004—Penny makes a pass at Ewan, but it all ends in humiliation. Meanwhile, Ben is ordered to babysit some pensioners who are visiting the school
3. S04E03Episode ThreeNovember 9, 2004 1.0Ewan is thrown into turmoil when he finds out that a pupil, John, fancies him. All his attempts to handle the situation sensitively backfire
4. S04E04Episode FourNovember 16, 2004—It is Obesity Awareness Month and Ben becomes obsessed with Lindsay’s weight. It’s purely selfish, of course; he’s worried her death would b
5. S04E05Episode FiveNovember 23, 2004—It’s Religious Tolerance Week and the teachers prepare to represent their allocated religions at the Tolerance Fair. Meanwhile, Bob finally
6. S04E06Episode SixNovember 30, 2004—After discovering Penny’s real surname is Eichmann, the others take pleasure in winding her up. She’s blonde, she hates foreign food, she ha
7. S04E07Episode SevenDecember 7, 2004—No sooner has Damien announced that he doesn’t need a girlfriend, than he falls for the substitute teacher Anna. But an unfortunate incident
8. S04E08Episode EightDecember 14, 2004—While trying to get out of Bob’s stag do, Ben is reminded of a ouija board prediction: he’s going to die on Friday. Then he sees a miracle.
9. S04E09Teachers Christmas SpecialDecember 21, 2004—The school is trashed after the Christmas party, the teachers are hungover, Bob is getting married in the playground—and the Ofsted Inspecto

Season 4 ranked & reviewed