The worst episodes of Benidorm
Ranked by viewer rating, lows first. Lit marks on the season rail place this list across the run. Vote on a placement to back it or contest it.
- 01
CEO Crystal (Joan Collins) is back, and she's about to turn Joyce's world upside down. Taken out to lunch, the Solana manager learns the staff budget is being cut by half, and that she's being replaced by someone cheaper - her predecessor Janey (Crissy Rock). The Oracle's Romanian fiancee Ionela arrives in Benidorm, believing he's a successful businessman, while Glynn asks Jacqueline to take some singing lessons so she can perform with him and his bandmates at Neptune's. Kenneth and Liam launch a Blow & Go makeover competition, which attracts some very unlikely entrants.
- 02
When The Solana meat supplier lets Joyce down she turns to Lesley, who enlists Mateo. Mr Wu can't help so what should they do? Joey and Tiger get some part-time work, and Jodie auditions for an advert. How is Troy keeping tabs on Kenneth & Liam?
- 03
Mick is horrified when his dim-witted brother Pete arrives for his stag night with their dad Stan in tow, while Gavin thinks Troy has broken up with him and agrees to a date with Emilio. Trudy hatches a plan to kiss Mateo by pretending to drown in the pool while he is on duty as a lifeguard, but her hopes of some extended mouth-to-mouth resuscitation are ruined by the arrival of Les dressed as Pamela Anderson.
- 04
The British Olympic synchronised swimming squad is in town to practise, and Liam is more than happy to escort them on a sightseeing tour up the coast. But it seems the attractive young ladies are intent on joining a booze cruise, the very same one that several other Solana regulars are heading for in search of some hot party action. Meanwhile, Madge has found herself a new man, and is already talking marriage.
- 05
The CEO of the Solana Hotel Group (guest star Joan Collins) tells Joyce to downgrade the resort to its original three-star status, and she agrees, but not before she's made sure Cyril's reputation remains untarnished. Meanwhile, Donald and Jacqueline's old friend Queenie (Rustie Lee) is in town for a party with the local swingers' association and arranges for Donald to meet his all-time hero Pepe Le Cruz and his wife Agnes (The Krankies). Pedalo-hire girl Elena comes looking for Michael, and Kenneth has an unexpected visitor at the salon.
- 06
The Oracle and his mother stage a return, having heard about the big quiz Lesley is hosting. Clive's sister Terri also arrives at the Solana resort, while Blow & Go branches out into botox - and Mateo and Joyce both want a slice of the action.
- 07
Joyce is set to make a speech in Spanish and solicits Mateo's help. Joey thinks he's signed up to an Ibiza trip whilst Kenneth inadvertently starts a mini-cab business. Sheron's mother, Loretta turns up, and she's already made an impression.
- 08
Sir Henry steps in during Joyce's absence and Les's mate Neville covers for him. The Maltbys are back but there is something not quite right about the reformed Pauline? Sam gets Liam, Tiger & Joey into the dinosaur park but with violent results!
- 09
A religious festival means no fun or alcohol is to be had anywhere in Benidorm but all determine to ignore the ban, Mr Wu's special brew to the rescue! Kenneth and Liam have to find models for Troy's photo shoot. Pauline's mysterious Malcolm arrives.
- 10
Return of the hit comedy set in a Spanish seaside resort. There's a bad atmosphere at the Solana as Joyce is told to make staff cuts, while Tiger is also angry - his cards and cash have been stolen, forcing him to rely on his dad, who's having a few marriage problems. The Garveys, embarking on their final holiday after seven series, are worried Madge is being stalked, and Jacqueline is at the hotel with a male companion, having arranged a wife swap with Donald to mark their 25th wedding anniversary.
- 11
Trudy tries to be ladylike for 24 hours to win a bet with Sam, while Joyce invites Costa Class magazine's hotel critic to visit and instructs Mateo to cook an authentic paella for him. The Garveys are alarmed by rumours of a gang kidnapping people and stealing their organs, so are convinced Madge has been abducted when Michael sees a stranger bundling her into a car.
- 12
Joyce is convinced that new guest Mrs Simmonds is the hotel inspector, and is determined nothing will go wrong. But when she argues with Kenneth over non-payment of rent, the pair end up fighting and fall into the pool - a farce witnessed by the mystery guest. Meanwhile, a pair of shady-looking characters come looking for Donald, and Michael tries to reunite the Garveys after a bitter argument.
- 13
The Garveys meet Buck A Roo, who reveals that a multimillion-pound inheritance is Madge's for the taking, but they're not convinced. Kenneth asks a clairvoyant customer, Psychic Sue, to hold a seance to contact his mother, but the message he receives appears to be for someone else. A sympathetic Jacqueline starts to get bored with Glynn's stories, while Clive makes the most of the single life.
- 14
Les's ex Gloria (former Coronation Street star Denise Black) arrives at the Solana to lure her son Liam back to the UK. Kenneth promises to find an antidote for the mystery injections he gave Joyce, and heads off to seek advice from his old friend Mr Wu. Glynn comes up with the perfect day out for Jacqueline, while the Oracle hopes to impress everyone by walking barefoot across hot coals.
- 15
The Dawson family head to the Solana Resort for the first time. Eddie is already causing trouble when he nearly drowns his grand-daughter. Billy and Sheron aren't happy at all. Tiger brings his best friend Joey on holiday. Joyce is on the look-out for a new member of staff, she has to choose between efficient Amber and flirty Marcus. Troy returns to the Solana, as he, Jacqueline and Kenneth scatter Donald's ashes.
- 16
Joyce has to find someone to train the staff at short notice, when her first-aid instructor lets her down. Mateo believes his new qualifications he gained in Madrid means he is more then competent to lead the class, but Amber smells a rat. Kenneth may be about to run into some money as he finds out his Uncle Herbert has died. His good news is met with sad news as it looks like Blow and Go may be shut down, but Troy and Jacqueline have an idea. Eddie is in the doghouse. Tiger and Joey take bets on who can get Amber's number first.
- 17
Pauline falls off the wagon, much to the dismay of Noreen and Geoff. Geoff tries sorting her out, but Jodie is her new best friend. The wristbands used by the hotel are been replaced by a improved card ID system, but it proves difficult to enforce especially for Mateo and the rest of the staff. Joey and Tiger make friends with Rob, who teaches them how to play chess., Joyce goes for a meeting with an estate agent called Monty, sparks fly and the pair go on a date that doesn't end well.
- 18
When Tiger and Joey attempt to climb a mountain, they have a run in with a fellow hiker. The Matlbys decide to cut their holiday short following Pauline's relapse and leave on the evening flight. Eddie and Rob bag themselves dates. A stranger turns up at reception asking for Mateo, is his time in Madrid catching up with him?
- 19
Rob tries to make use of Loretta's swanky Beltoro hotel room but the rest of the family have their own elaborate plans for some of her 5 star luxury. Kenneth has bridges to build and is Sam up to something? Guest George Shelley.
- 20
The wedding party return after a messy night out sleeping under the stars, but there is no sign of Kenneth. Jacqueline's concern turns to joy when he arrives back unharmed following a romantic interlude after having been rescued at sea, but her joy soon turns sour when her suspicions that the new dental practice in the Blow and Go is going to come back to haunt her are confirmed. Meanwhile, things come to a head as Kenneth and Stanley settle old scores, forcing Joyce to step in.
- 21
Donald and Jacqueline start a collection to help Madge through her financial troubles, but she proves less than grateful. The Garveys visit a water park, only to discover Noreen has brought along her irritable daughter Pauline. Mateo plans to get rid of his annoyingly efficient new workmate, and there's trouble when Sam and Natalie hit a nightclub with Liam in tow.
- 22
A new manager arrives at the Solana determined to transform it into a four-star hotel, but the start of the holiday season proves chaotic for the staff as well as the guests. Mate and Les/Lesley are barely keeping things under control, while a coachload of angry tourists, including Gavin and Noreen, have all had their luggage misplaced by a travel company.
- 23
The guests take part in a dance contest organised by the Solana's new manager Joyce, but test the patience of her old flame Cyril, who is supervising rehearsals. Kenneth hires a salon assistant, but she is not up to the job when her first client arrives, and Janice is shocked to see Jack for the first time in several years at the pool bar - but is mystified when he pretends not to know her.
- 24
Madge prepares for her wedding to Mohammed, but as Mick and Michael discover, the groom is not being entirely truthful with his bride-to-be. Joyce hires a spy, convinced someone is feeding negative information about the hotel to the local press, and Trudy tricks Sam into thinking she had a drunken romp with Liam - who she would not dream of touching with a bargepole.
- 25
Liam bumps into the beautiful Bianca and decides that he's fallen in love, and Donald and Jacqueline receive sad news about their friend Big Donna. Martin Weedon arrives at the resort for what proves to be a rowdy stag do, and Madge is determined to stir things up with the Dyke family, so Janice, Mick, Tonya and Clive all do their best to ignore her.
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