The worst episodes of Barney Miller
Ranked by viewer rating, lows first. Vote on a placement to back it or contest it.
- 01
A disgruntled man with a belt of dynamite threatens to blow himself and the squad room sky high unless President Nixon agrees to speak with him; the plumbing goes kaput; Wojo arrests a phony man-of-the-cloth.
- 02
A deaf woman is arrested for prostitution; Barney anxiously awaits news of Wojo, who dived into the Hudson River in pursuit of a looter.
- 03
The members of the squad nervously await Barney filling out their evaluation forms. Meanwhile, Harris arrests a numerologist who will only give his name as ""1223,"" and a porno shop reporting vandalism turns out to be a mom and pop operation being hassled by their kids.
- 04
Wojo wants to tell Yemana that his Christmas Eve date is a call girl; Fish dons a red suit to catch a mugger who's targeting Kris Kringles; Luger fishes for an invitation from Barney for Christmas Day.
- 05
An old friend of Barney's is assigned to investigate allegations of corruption in the squadroom; Chano is after an obscene phone caller.
- 06
A prostitute threatens to file harassment charges against Wojo; Rachel wants to move into her own apartment.
- 07
Well-meaning nosy neighbors overrun a covert stakeout operation.
- 08
The squad grapples with guarding a department store payroll and a flasher who attempts suicide in the bathroom.
- 09
Guests to the 12th include a drunken bureaucrat and the 12-year-old who robbed Chano's apartment; Wojo closes the precinct's favorite delicatessen for minor health-code infractions.
- 10
An overzealous lady cop ruffles the feathers of the testosterone-run 12th; Chano nabs an obscene phone caller. Linda Lavin (""Alice"") debuts as Detective Janice Wentworth.
- 11
Barney is visited by Inspector Luger, who complains that his men aren't disliked enough by the public; a neighborhood vigilante is well into his twilight years; Wojo collars a cross-dressing teamster.
- 12
Captain Barney Miller talks down a junkie who is holding the 12th Precinct hostage.
- 13
A bomber targets the 12th Precinct, as Det. Fish contemplates retirement.
- 14
Wojo brings hashish-laced brownies his new girlfriend made to the 12th Precinct, getting the detective squad stoned; while an actor and critic (""natural enemies"" says Harris) square off with dueling swords.
- 15
Listening devices discovered in the squad room may have come from Internal Affairs - or the Nixon administration!
- 16
The detectives clean up after three mental patients sit down to Thanksgiving dinner at an automat.
- 17
The city legalizes off-track gambling, to the delight of Yemana; a woman wants her husband arrested on a rape charge; a master of disguise perpetuates a crime spree.
- 18
A German girl attempts to flee the country rather than surrender her baby to a broker's clients; Levitt turns to stimulants to aid in his self-imposed thirty-six hour shift.
- 19
A job fair brings out the worst in a Peace Corps recruiter; Dietrich volunteers for a department stress experiment.
- 20
Wojo's discover of an ancient weapon puts the 12th Precinct up for sale.
- 21
The 12th Precinct is sold; Dietrich arrests the head of a crime school; Luger tries to duck out on his mail-order bride.
- 22
A neighborhood vigilante group runs amok, and Fish is AWOL on the day of his retirement.
- 23
Fish finally shows up for work, but refuses to acknowledge his mandatory retirement.
- 24
Retired Sergeant Fish returns to assist Barney in locating a pilfered corpse.
- 25
Yemana scours the TV Guide to try to second-guess the felon who's aping the prime-time lineup crime shows; a drunk forgets the most important element in a hold-up - a weapon.
Shows like Barney Miller
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