'Allo 'Allo!

1. S01E01The Fallen MadonnaSeptember 7, 1984 7.9Rene Artois, owner of the Cafe Rene in the French village of Nouvion, is 'persuaded' by the Resistance to hide two escaping British airmen.
2. S01E02Pigeon PostSeptember 14, 1984 7.9The Colonel & the Captain mull over their situation and decide they should probably hand over René and the painting to the Gestapo in or
3. S01E03Saville Row to the RescueSeptember 21, 1984 8.0After the Colonel´s and the Captain´s uniforms are borrowed by the British airmen, and later burned, they will have to send for replacement
4. S01E04The ExecutionSeptember 28, 1984 8.0The Colonel & the Captain and Herr Flick are all disguised as onion sellers while the German uniforms are being remade by the Jewish tai
5. S01E05Season's bestThe FuneralOctober 5, 1984 8.3Hans mistakes the nitro for gin and accidentally blows up the railway himself! The Germans capture René, Yvette, and the peasant-disguised C
6. S01E06Red Nick's ColonelOctober 19, 1984 8.0René tries to go back to his normal life after his fake execution, posing as his twin brother, also named René, but the funeral arrangements
7. S01E07The Dance of the Hitler YouthOctober 26, 1984 7.9The communist résistance wants to make a martyr out of the dead René, and kidnaps the Colonel and the Captain at the Captain's birthday part

Season 1 ranked & reviewed

1. S02E01Season's bestSix Big BoobiesOctober 21, 1985 8.0After the British airmen are gone for good - or so René thinks - there is still the problem of Herr Flick owning all three copies of the Fal
2. S02E02The Wooing of Widow ArtoisOctober 28, 1985 7.3René is caught in a dilemma when he must choose between the women he loves: his waitresses Yvette and Marie, and his wife Edith, who as his
3. S02E03The Policeman ComethNovember 4, 1985 7.3We pick up the action mere moments after the close of the previous episode, as the airmen-filled cow narrowly escape being milked by a Germa
4. S02E04Swiftly and with StyleNovember 11, 1985 7.2Rene and Captain Hans Geering in their borrowed armoured car are ambushed by the Resistance who mistake them for an ammunition convoy. Monsi
5. S02E05The DuelNovember 18, 1985 7.2Whilst the balloon is ready for the take off the cowardly René tries to duck out of the duel with Monsieur Alfonse. Gruber, who is in love w
6. S02E06Herr Flick's RevengeNovember 25, 1985 8.0The Colonel, Captain and Rene are captured by the Gestapo and taken to the dungeons of the chateau where they are interrogated by Herr Flick
7. S02E07The Gateau from the ChateauDecember 26, 1985 8.0General Von Klinkerhoffen has taken personal control of the district. The Resistance decide that their operations will be inhibited by the G

Season 2 ranked & reviewed

1. S03E01The Nicked KnockwurstDecember 5, 1986 7.4Rene is ordered to steal a Vintage plane; the Communist Resistance steals the Fallen Madonna and Rene is ordered to pay the ransom.
2. S03E02Gruber Does Some MincingDecember 12, 1986 7.6Monsieur Alfonse gets his money back - or does he? Gruber reveals the Fallen Madonna is a forgery - or is it? Rene still has to steal a vint
3. S03E03The Sausage in the WardrobeDecember 19, 1986 7.2With Maria and the Fallen Madonna caught by Von Klinkerhoffen , a brave rescue attempt is planned. In fact, three brave rescue attempts!
4. S03E04The Flight of FancyDecember 26, 1986 7.0In order to get the airmen back to Blighty Rene and co disguise themselves as roadworkers, but as usual it all ends in a right nause-up.
5. S03E05Pretty Maids All in a RowJanuary 2, 1987 7.4Von Klinkerhoffen requisitions a worthless painting from the cafe, in which Rene has hidden the Fallen Madonna, and Michelle plans to find u
6. S03E06Season's bestThe Great Un-EscapeJanuary 9, 1987 8.2Gruber is knee-deep in the forgeries he has to make and Rene is knee-deep in a tunnel as part of his quest to find the British airmen their

Season 3 ranked & reviewed

1. S04E01Season's bestHans Goes Over the TopNovember 7, 1987 8.8Rene and co are still stuck in a German POW camp. A series of desperate escape plans is instigated - with only partial success.
2. S04E02Camp DanceNovember 14, 1987 8.3Join Rene and co where they were left last week, escaping from a German POW camp dressed as girls from the Folies-Berge¨re....
3. S04E03Good Staff are Hard to FindNovember 21, 1987 8.5The Resistance supply a new waitress for Cafe René, and Mussolini sends an Italian liaison officer to work with the Colonel.
4. S04E04The Flying NunNovember 28, 1987 8.8Herr Flick suspects the Colonel and General Von Klinkerhoffen of plotting to assassinate Hitler. René and co attempt to establish radio cont
5. S04E05The Sausage in the TrousersDecember 5, 1987 8.5General Von Klinkerhoffen arrests Irma von Kinkenrotten (aka Herr Flick). Meanwhile René is inundated with sausages containing paintings,
6. S04E06The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-LawDecember 12, 1987 8.5Colonel Von Klinkerhoffen visits the local vineyards for a wine-tasting, where the Resistance provides him with a very special vintage and t

Season 4 ranked & reviewed

1. S05E01Desperate Doings in the DungeonsSeptember 3, 1988 8.2Helga and Von Smallhausen rescue Herr Flick from prison where he is being held (disguised as stenographer Irma Von Kinkenrotten ) by General
2. S05E02The Camera in the PotatoSeptember 10, 1988 8.0Once Rene has been rescued from prison (disguised as stenographer Irma Von Kinkenrotten) and Mimi has stolen the colonel's film (while he is
3. S05E03Dinner with the GeneralSeptember 17, 1988 8.0Rene's photograph of the safe in Gruber's bedroom (containing the plans for the German invasion of England) is identified by Leclerc as a Ka
4. S05E04The Dreaded Circular SawSeptember 24, 1988 7.5Rene and Leclerc manage to crack open the safe in Lieutenant Gruber's bedroom - but instead of the plans for the invasion of England, they f
5. S05E05Enter DeniseOctober 1, 1988 7.5Rene is about to suffer foul torture at the hands of Denise Laroque, former lion tamer and now the feared leader of the Communist Resistance
6. S05E06A Marriage of InconvenienceOctober 8, 1988 7.3Rene's marriage to Denise Laroque, the feared leader of the Communist Resistance, has been arranged - much to the dismay of Edith, his waitr
7. S05E07Post-Matrimonial DepressionOctober 15, 1988 7.7Disguised as his father, Rene seeks protection from the wrath of Denise Laroque.
8. S05E08The Coming of the Long Distance DuckOctober 22, 1988 6.7A threat to Edith's life and General Von Klinkerhoffen 's forthcoming meeting to discuss the invasion plans bring Rene out in little lumps.
9. S05E09Watch the BirdieOctober 29, 1988 8.0With the special apparatus supplied by the Resistance and a diversion created by Edith, Rene sets about photographing the invasion plans.
10. S05E10René Under an Assumed NoseNovember 5, 1988 7.3When orders are given for Rene to be arrested and shot, Monsieur Leclerc produces some of his best work with explosive results.
11. S05E11The Confusion of the GeneralsNovember 12, 1988 6.7Rene, reprieved, heaves a sigh of relief - until, that is, General Von Klinkerhoffen reconvenes the meeting of the generals to discuss the i
12. S05E12Who's for the VaticanNovember 19, 1988 6.7A medal for bravery, a suicide pill and a hide-out in the Vatican introduce an old habit to Rene.
13. S05E13Ribbing the BonkNovember 26, 1988 7.7Rene and Leclerc escape from the Communist Resistance.
14. S05E14The Reluctant MillionairesDecember 3, 1988 7.7When it is revealed that the one million francs stolen from the bank belong to Herr Flick of the Gestapo, the best place to hide them seems
15. S05E15A Duck for LaunchDecember 10, 1988 8.0Rene has succeeded in getting rid of the stolen Gestapo money and, using the long-distance duck, he should be able to get rid of the microfi
16. S05E16The Exploding BedpanDecember 17, 1988 8.3While under interrogation, Alfonse's dicky ticker starts playing up and he is whisked to hospital. He must be either rescued or eliminated b
17. S05E17Going Like a BombDecember 24, 1988 7.0A new bold, daring crackbrained plan to get the British airmen back to England is hatched by Michelle and Crabtree; the Colonel and Lt Grube
18. S05E18Money to BurnDecember 31, 1988 6.0Leclerc has been arrested on suspicion of stealing the forged Gestapo million francs and is to be executed unless the money is returned; unf
19. S05E19Puddings Can Go OffJanuary 7, 1989 6.3Faced with the problem of hiding 1,000 kilos of stolen high explosive, Michelle of the Resistance decides on a simple but daring course of a
20. S05E20Land Mines for LondonJanuary 14, 1989 7.0After narrowly escaping being blown up by the 258 exploding Christmas puddings, which are being hidden in the cellar of the cafe, Rene becom
21. S05E21Flight to GenevaJanuary 21, 1989 7.0Rene is ordered to hand over to General Von Klinkerhoffen the two valuable paintings he has been hiding to sell after the war. The General t
22. S05E22Train of EventsJanuary 28, 1989 8.0Rene is trying to elope with Yvette, and with the four gold bars he stole from General Von Klinkerhoffen , on the night train to Switzerland
23. S05E23An Enigma VariationFebruary 4, 1989 7.7Rene is still trying to hide the gold he has stolen from General Von Klinkerhoffen ; the Colonel, Gruber and Helga are trying to recover the
24. S05E24Wedding BlossFebruary 11, 1989 7.7In the eyes of the world, Rene is supposed to be dead and therefore is masquerading as his twin brother. This means that he is not really ma
25. S05E25Season's bestDown the DrainFebruary 18, 1989 9.0Rene is still hiding the four bars of gold he has stolen and he decides it is time he left his dangerous life in Nouvion.
26. S05E26All in DisgeeseFebruary 25, 1989 9.0René is still harbouring the German Enigma coding machine as well as the four bars of gold he has stolen; the two British airmen; the painti

Season 5 ranked & reviewed

1. S06E01Season's bestDesperate Doings in the GraveyardSeptember 2, 1989 7.3A powerful radio transmitter has been erected beneath the tomb of Rene Artois (twin brother, you will remember, of Rene Artois ). Rene tries
2. S06E02The Gestapo for the High JumpSeptember 9, 1989 7.3Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen of the Gestapo plan to infiltrate the Resistance disguised as British airmen. So do the Italians, led by Capt
3. S06E03The Nouvion OarsSeptember 16, 1989 7.3Private Helga Geerhart undertakes to marry Herr Flick of the Gestapo in order to report his every move to General Von Klinkerhoffen.
4. S06E04The Nicked AirmenSeptember 23, 1989 7.0When the British airmen are arrested paddling a tin bath down the estuary, Rene and his staff are instructed to rescue them from the chateau
5. S06E05The Airmen De-NickedSeptember 30, 1989 7.0Michelle of the Resistance plans to infiltrate German headquarters to rescue the British airmen, using hijacked German uniforms. Who will fi
6. S06E06The Crooked FencesOctober 7, 1989 7.3Cafe Rene is the venue for a clandestine deal involving a solid gold cuckoo clock weight, the Portrait of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Bo
7. S06E07Crabtree's Podgeon PistOctober 14, 1989 7.3Fanny and Leclerc's wedding is timed to coincide with the execution of Michelle's most audacious escape plan to date.
8. S06E08Rising to the OccasionOctober 21, 1989 6.8Michelle of the Resistance has an audacious escape plan for the British airmen. It involves a barrage balloon, a wedding marquee and 24 cyli

Season 6 ranked & reviewed

1. S07E01A Quiet HoneymoonJanuary 5, 1991 7.0Newlyweds Fanny and Leclerc are sent to jail by the Germans for flying around in a bed attached to a balloon. Much to Rene's horror, Edith d
2. S07E02An Almighty BangJanuary 12, 1991 7.0General Von Flockenstoffen plans to launch a suicidal raid to kidnap Churchill.
3. S07E03Fleeing MonksJanuary 19, 1991 8.0Rene is sentenced to death by the Communist Resistance for collaboration. He decides to flee to England with Yvette.
4. S07E04Season's bestUp the Crick without a PiddleJanuary 26, 1991 8.3Rene and Edith, transported to England in the place of the British airmen, get medals from Churchill.
5. S07E05The Gestapo Ruins a PicnicFebruary 2, 1991 8.3Rene is made editor of the local paper; Michelle plans to build a raft to float the airmen back to England.
6. S07E06The Spirit of NouvionFebruary 9, 1991 7.0The German officers burgle Gestapo headquarters, but find a ghostly apparition has got there before them.
7. S07E07Leg It to Spain!February 16, 1991 6.7The Resistance is short of money. Michelle enlists Rene to help recover the painting of the Fallen Madonna to sell for Resistance funds. The
8. S07E08Prior EngagementsFebruary 23, 1991 7.0The British airmen are trapped in wine barrels in the cellars of the chateau. They must be rescued before the Germans sample the claret.
9. S07E09Soup and SausageMarch 2, 1991 7.3The British airmen are stuck down the drain in the village square. Rene plans to get them out - with the help of an old ice-cream van.
10. S07E10René of the GypsiesMarch 16, 1991 8.3Michelle plans to release the British airmen from the drain in the square under cover of a gypsy fair.

Season 7 ranked & reviewed

1. S08E01Arousing SuspicionsJanuary 12, 1992 6.7Rene and company disguise themselves as Spanish dancers to recover battle equipment from the chateau.
2. S08E02A Woman Never LiesJanuary 19, 1992 6.7Still searching for the Fallen Madonna, Herr Flick gives Helga a truth drug.
3. S08E03Hitler's Last HeilJanuary 26, 1992 7.5It's Rene's birthday! Surprises include a car from Edith, a wink from Hitler and a bomb from the Resistance.
4. S08E04Awful Wedded WifeFebruary 2, 1992 7.0Renee has organised a secret wedding with Yvette, but things have a habit of not going quite according to plan.
5. S08E05Season's bestFiring SquashedFebruary 16, 1992 7.7Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen almost meet their maker in front of a firing squad.
6. S08E06A Fistful of FrancsFebruary 23, 1992 7.3Michelle plans to swap an eel containing the Fallen Madonna for a dogfish containing ten million francs.
7. S08E07A Swan SongMarch 1, 1992 7.3What's happened to Rene and Edith? And why is Michelle singing a duet with Crabtree?

Season 8 ranked & reviewed

1. S09E01Gone with the WindmillNovember 9, 1992 7.3The Colonel and Gruber finally return from Spain.
2. S09E02Missing and Presumed DeadNovember 16, 1992 7.5Captured by the communists, Rene is looking for a way to escape. Flick and Von Smallhausen try to fool Edith by pretending they are English.
3. S09E03Season's bestRené Artois is Still DeadNovember 23, 1992 8.2Having escaped from the Communist Resistance, Rene now has to go into hiding. But where is he?
4. S09E04Tarts and FlickersNovember 30, 1992 7.6Trying to get a secret message to England proves a problem.
5. S09E05A Fishy Send-OffDecember 7, 1992 7.3It is the day of the Nouvion Fishmonger's Parade, but Von Klinkerhoffen, Gruber and the Colonel are heading for Berlin on a special mission.
6. S09E06A Winkle in TimeDecember 14, 1992 8.0The moment Nouvion has been waiting for: Rene and Edith greet the Allies and the war is over. But not the surprises.

Season 9 ranked & reviewed